A girl week...

What I discovered is that it is hard to always make the best choice for an entire family. What was easy for you to do is no longer always as easy or as certain when you have kids to think about.

This year I made the tough decision not to go to our staff conference. Seriously it was a tough decision because I LOVE our staff conferences. But they are in BC, meaning very, costly travel, thus taking a hit from our staff account and with us not at full support we have to be very careful with every dollar in there or we potentially get a smaller pay cheque (of what we know well and a risk we don't want to take especially with a child to think about now). Also, with a family to consider, it came a week after travelling and settling back from being away in Ontario and Orlando for 7 weeks in total, only to turn around and go somewhere different again. On top of that for us its a 4 hour time difference which would mean very serious jet leg to consider. Brutal for anyone, extra brutal for a toddler and parents of the children!

I weighed out all of these options and prayed about it right after I had the miscarriage. To be honest, I do feel like I was also emotionally feeling drained and I couldn't do it all, which impacted my decision.

Come staff conference time, I was definitely partly regretting my decision. I really wanted to go and believed I could with Hannah, but the decision had been made.

Come my first 24 hours after Matt had left it was confirmed I made the right decision for our family.

That first night Hannah went from sleeping (13-14 hours straight, often sleeping past 9am the week we got back home) to waking up 2 times with nightmares (she was sitting up shaking and seemed so scared, calmed right down when cuddled tightly up against me and then was clingy and jumpy the next day so Im almost certain thats what it was), and once at 4am because she was cold. She then woke up at 6am saying she had to go poo.

I was tired.

But trying to be a good mom, I just said "you better have to go poo.." and took her to the toilet. Sure enough she pooped! But then with the proud excitement that followed I realized we were up for the day she was not going back to sleep.

I have got to admit...she is the cutest pooper I know! 

(taken the day before when she was going "poo" also...
I did not capture the moment at 6am!)

If this had happened in BC we would have been up at 2am people and she would have been ready to sleep again just in time for me to have to start the day of full meetings and schedule! For us I have a feeling it would have been more miserable than something to get full things out of, which is what you want when it does cost! So instead, for next time we plan ahead to have the kids stay home with grandparents somehow and we can just go? Maybe?

So instead, it is our girl week. Just Hannah and I and I have realized something.

We function much better when we get to see people and do fun different things.

It is a different week with Matt gone. Hannah seriously misses him, so why try to stick to "normal"? So instead we do at least 1 special thing a day and hopefully see at least 1 friend a day.

So far its worked out great! And only 3 more full days to go!

(and as for sleeping, no more nightmares or waking up. Waking up a bit earlier than normal, but not anything to complain about. Normal sleep returned quickly in NS at least!)