Preparing Hannah for the new baby

What has been exciting is that Hannah totally seems to get what is happening! Due to having so many friends and family having babies lately she has seen first hand babies inside the mommy's bellies and then the babies being born!

She has loved since I can remember kissing my belly, talking to the baby, hugging the baby and feeling the baby "say hello" (kicking was not a word that worked well for her since she thought she should kick it back!).

That said, we are fully aware her little world will be drastically rocked when this baby comes so we have tried to be as proactive as possible to help her prepare.

Some things we have done include: 
- talking lots about the baby and what will happen, while assuring Hannah of how special she is and what will happen with her when the baby is born too.
- letting Hannah be a part of a lot of the preparing - we ask her names she likes, let her help sort baby clothes, set up the crib, pick out the material for the baby sheets I would make, etc
- do special things for Hannah and her dolls that the baby will also get. I knitted a small blanket special for her baby doll and made her a baby wrap that matches the one I made for the baby

she loves taking her baby around in the wrap and is such a little mom!

- the biggest thing is try to be aware of her reactions to things and what she is saying and feeling and address it right away!

I have absolutely no doubt Hannah will be an amazing big sister. She is a very caring, nurturing toddler and loves babies. 

I also have no doubt that it will still be difficult for Hannah. She is a big quality time girl and going from getting attention from both parents, to having a baby take up lots of time, especially for feeding at the start will be hard to get used to. Even with family visiting to do special things with her, I know she will be craving mommy and daddy time so we are already thinking ahead of how we can make that a priority to help her adjust. 

We have also realized once again just how aware and sensitive Hannah is. We have talked about the baby coming soon, but not into great detail. That said we have talked more about things say when she's in the living room playing and we are in the kitchen, but guess what she hears and she internalizes! For the past 2 weeks different nights she has woken up lots (from being a straight 12 hours night sleeper), sometimes to pee but mostly to see if we are both still here. She knows something is going on and things are about to change and she already is showing it in small ways like that.

With all we have done and thought about - will it be a smooth transition? Likely not, but at least we are ready as much as we feel we can for whatever comes as life is about to drastically change. 

Hannah talking to the baby, wishing it Happy Easter, saying she loves the baby and telling he/she she hopes he/she has a good sleep while she goes down for her nap as well!

ps - Hannah is convinced she is having a little sister! She will admit sometimes it could be a brother, but is really pushing for that sister! We will see if she is right or not! 

Differences this time around

Clearly I haven't written on here for a long time. Truth be told, although I write/think through stuff all the time in my head, since being pregnant I have become more and more of a consumer. After work is done, chores at home are done, quality time with Hannah and Matt have happened, I have little else to give! If I am online its simply to read - read stuff going on in other people's lives, read other blogs, read uplifting stories, look at pictures, but with little effort on me needing to type or do a thing (sometimes I comment on things).

And that's okay.

For now my priorities are being close to God, making an eternal impact through work, raising a confident, loving daughter, investing in a strong marriage, being there for family and helping this baby inside me grow healthy the best I can (not written in order really). Everything else is extra. 

That said, I have been thinking a lot about the differences between my pregnancy with Hannah and this one and this I want to get written down so I do not forget. 

So what is different? 

• Feeling sick - for Hannah I felt nauseous pretty much all the time from 8-12.5 weeks, then it for the most part went away and I felt pretty great until the end vs. with this one, I felt nauseous all the time from almost the day we found out (which actually once we had the dating ultrasound would be closer to 6 weeks than 4 like we thought) and experienced some pretty awful being sick moments, this lasted until 15 or 16 weeks - so much longer and much more intense and worse for sure (although still somewhat manageable and not as bad as many I know, for which I am grateful). And really I can't complain because I did pray that I would feel sick so I would know stuff was going on inside as a sign, since I was fearful of another miscarriage.
• Baby's movement - Hannah moved like a crazy girl inside of me. She flipped as soon as she could (so likely well before I felt her doing it) and continued crazy flips until she no longer had enough room to. She also kicked and punched A LOT and often many many times in a row. It was pretty hilarious to watch my stomach during those moments! Interestingly, she really just moved a lot in the day and not much at night. This baby although moves a lot, its completely different! Its more just stretches, a few kicks, lots of tickles with it's fingers which seriously is the craziest feeling, and thats pretty much it. This baby also loves to move at night (so we are preparing for a need to teach this one when night time is!). I must admit I am praying this one decides to stay head down and not turn around last minute like Hannah did! (that was written weeks ago, since I'm 39 weeks now and head is still down I am sure we are safe!)
• Heartburn - I never had heartburn that I can remember before being pregnant with Hannah. Even still with Hannah I had it only a handful of times (and she came out a very bald baby which goes with the old wives tale). With this one I have had heartburn SO MUCH! I forget when it started but I definitely pop a few tums minimum each day. The worst is when I would wake up nauseous and have bad heartburn, but the thought of tums make me want to vomit even more. It will be really interesting to see if the old wives tale pans out and this one is born with lots of hair - if it was, that would be so fun and totally worth it! (okay a healthy baby either way is totally worth it all!) 
• Braxton Hicks - For both pregnancies I've had them earlier than most and lots, progressively getting stronger and more frequent as I get closer to due date time. Only different I can think of is that this one started earlier, for sure I know I was having lots by 18 weeks. 
• Carrying - I dont think I've carried much difference when I look at pictures, but at the same time, with Hannah I think I was more spread out and this one is more popping out front. Most pregnancy pants now hurt to wear, especially when BH's come since the elastic is hitting mid tummy more and more shirts are too short to wear already! 
• Heartbeat/blood pressure - for both I have so far always had low blood pressure which has been good. Hannah's heartbeat was consistently around 150 and this baby averages around 143, but is all over the map from 135-150
• Hiccups - Hannah got hiccups ALL THE TIME! And sure enough once she was born she was a hiccuping machine! I hadn't really thought about hiccups until this baby got hiccups for the first time when I was 34 weeks. Since then maybe...maybe they have gotten hiccups 10 times, but that would be the absolute max I know about. 
• Birth position - I have realized nearing the end of a pregnancy, head down babies feel very very different than breached babies. Hannah turned to be breached at 36 weeks, so going until 39 when she was born she didn't feel much different inside. This baby  has shown me what it feels like for a head to drop, to have pressure as they prepare to come out, etc. Totally different feelings! 
• Timing - Once they were sure it was not going to work to turn Hannah my c-section was planned for 39 weeks. Although I got put basically on bed rest because they were fearful I was going to go early (I was 4cm dialated and contracting lots at 37 weeks), it was predictable and I know the day and around the time I could expect for her to be born. This one, I have no idea! To think that if I had planned to do a c-section instead of vbac I would already have the baby at home with us as it would have been booked for this past Thursday! 

I can't really think of much more symptoms wise that different. 

Same as last time, we find it difficult to find a name for either gender that we both love! 

The only other big differences relate to having a toddler. With Hannah I was careful not to pick up heavy things, now I lift and carry Hannah all the time! I also got to get out and walk a tonne with Hannah, but this one, although we are outside and active a lot, its active for a toddler, so walks are at toddler speed, not to mention stopping at every single thing she finds interesting = nothing I would call exercise really. 

Another big difference is this one has gone by so so fast! So fast that I have often lost track of the weeks and how far along I am. I also have seriously lacked taking pictures of my belly as it grows! Below is one of the few ones I have only because a friend snapped it of me at a baby shower!

36 weeks

The time that Matt left and I became a single mom of 5...

Not too long ago, both Matt and myself had our own type of separate adventures!

Matt flew to Scotland, to help lead a team of students from across Canada in a spring break missions project, while Hannah and I went to live with 4 kids who's parents had also gone overseas for spring break project.

Although, I really desperately wanted to go to Scotland with Matt (especially since my brother is there on a semester exchange and I really really wanted to see him), with knowing how hard it would be to get Hannah a very scheduled toddler sleeper through jet lag, just to do it again soon after (since the whole trip including travel was just 12 days) and the fact that I was only about 6-7 weeks away from giving birth to our second, I didn't know how well it would work. Not to mention getting through all of the insurance and airline details so far in my pregnancy to travel internationally (although I was cleared by my doctor!). So we decided to do separate adventures.

Some people may think me offering to watch 4 extra kids at this time was crazy, which maybe it was a little, but it worked out really well. Partly, I really wanted to be a part of supporting the project more than just prayer and sending Matt, so getting to watch these kids and give their parents some peace of mind so they could focus on stuff while away was a great incentive and way for me to be there for them. Another part though was my selfish part in it being easier and better for me! (yes you read that right). I do not enjoy being home alone with Hannah, especially at nights. It gets boring really fast putting Hannah to bed at 7 then being stuck at home alone the rest of the night. Also, I knew that communication would not be that regular since Matt would be so busy (and it was even worse with his poor internet access!), so having lots of others around would distract me more and keep me busy not desperately wanting to hear from Matt. It would also allow something different and distracting for Hannah to have all of the kids around.

All in all it worked out great. Hannah adored having older siblings, and the younger kids loved having Hannah there as a "little sister". The older girls were away the first weekend at sport tournaments and had lots going on, but were also super helpful any time they could be. Yes it was more kids, but at the same time, I never had to do dishes, because they had them as chores and well, it was just a different type of parenting!

Here are a couple of pictures from our time and someday if I can get the videos Ill have to post them too, we got some priceless ones!



Together (missing one) on a Saturday afternoon walk around Frog Pond, turned into another adventure since most of the path was sheer ice. The younger ones loved sliding down the hills! (Don't worry I was careful and walked on the snow as much as I could!)




Making Borax crystals on the PD day!


Weekend project - making "puffy paint"


Would I do it again?

Without a doubt!

But only if I was in a similar situation. Ideally, next time I'd love to actually go with Matt!

"It takes a village to raise a child"

We all have heard the old African proverb "it takes a village to raise a child". It may be hold, but I love the idea of it and although times have changed and it looks a lot different that it did years ago, I still believe the value of it holds true!

Although our family is all over the country (with one in the States), and we do not live in a "village", we have another type of family here – our friends.

I don’t know what we would do without our friends. Not only for us to have people to have fun with, challenge us and be there for each other, but it also relates so much to Hannah.

(The kids from our small group, 

and to think not too long ago Hannah was the only baby of the group!)

I read in Sacred Parenting a section about how, I believe, on their daughters 13^th birthday they picked a few trusted women that she looked up to, to take her on different adventures to teach her life lessons. I loved the picture of how they could impact her life and how the parents realized that other people can offer different things and invest great values into their children. I immediately had no problem picking a tonne of people I would trust to ask to do something like that for Hannah some day.

The past 2 days we had to be away on a work trip. Although sometimes we opt to take Hannah, some are much less fun for her and much more difficult for us to get what needs to get done with a toddler tagging along – this was one of those trips. So instead Hannah has gotten to have one of the most fun tours of staying at houses of people she loves and best of all love her!  (3 houses with 3 families in 2 days = not bad!) Not only has she gotten other moms to take care of her, but shes had lots of fun with her baby friends and even the dads around some to play!

Such a special blessing!

(Hannah having s special snack with baby Gareth at her last house of the tour!)

And the best part is, that this is not an unusual event.

Once a week a friend supports our ministry in a very tangible and priceless way by taking Hannah for the day so I can be on campus working directly with students. Hannah loves going there so much, she prays for Meagan and “Packy” (her weird nickname she came up with for their cat Zarah...Im thinking she decided to adapt the name “Pekoe” the name of our cat, to something close since she knew they were different, but similar...), and every time we get close she excitedly says their names and barely has time to wave goodbye when she’s dropped off because she’s so excited to be there.

Other times at nights friends have come over so we could get out to meetings or do other things, or take Hannah for a special day or even just for an hour or 2 for an appointment or something.

Like really, what would we do without such friends? They are such a blessing. One that we greatly appreciate and love and ones that Hannah adores and looks up to greatly!

My prayer is that we can be there or others and help invest in their kids as much as they do for us. I love how close our kids can be and how we are a different type of family/village!

I truly believe children benefit from being around and spending real time with different people than just their immediate family. Others have so much to offer our children and I want to give Hannah the most I possibly can  and having the love of others is a huge one!

Balance That Matters

The title of my blog is "Finding Balance", looking at balance that matters. Finding this balance this fall has meant no posts for a very, very long time.

Instead, August was full of first getting to celebrate with friends for their wedding in Florida, then rushing home to start in full gear for staff prep meetings for our September launch on campus (which meant a lot more out of the house work hours, even with being part-time, there was a lot I needed to be there for) and then of course our September launch. Which, with Matt and I doing stuff with expansion campuses in helping to start ministries of Power to Change on other campuses across the Maritimes, that meant lots of travel and basically the feeling of frosh week lasting the entire month. And when work was not the issue, spending quality time with family, especially having special times with Hannah was a priority, since she was going from place to place to be watched by others a lot more than normal. And most importantly, was making sure that I got to spend time reading my Bible and just getting away from the chaos of the world and be refreshed in my relationship with God.

Oh yeah, and all done in my first trimester of pregnancy, while feeling AWFUL. I prayed that this time I would feel the symptoms for sure to know that the baby was healthy. I was worried after having the miscarriage, so I wanted to have signs to know things would be okay. That was a big mistake! God answered and I felt it all, much worse than before.

But we survived!

And now I can have a chance to process through writing again and get caught up on a lot of things that have been floating around in my head.

These special moments matter to me and trump a lot of others! 

family walk - stopping to sit/play by the water

This is how Hannah shows off the flowers she picked! 

She is such a little character! I can't get enough of her! 

Love

planting tulip bulbs for next year!

(yes all pictures were taken the same day, we only had so many days all together, we packed them with as much quality time as possible!)

It has returned

Last week we had the amazing chance to go to our friends destination wedding at Disney World. That I will have to post about later, because there is just so many good things and experiences I could write about that week.

However, our not so good part was getting off the Disney shuttle at the airport and realizing that our main suitcase (that had all of our stuff in from Hannahs bed, sleep stuff, sunscreen, make up, toiletries and all of our clothes. Our other set of luggage was Matts golf clubs!). One of the Disney workers had taken it to check it in directly, then realized we were too late and told me he would take it to the shuttle. The rest of our stuff made it, but the suitcase didn't.

10 days after our flight, last night we came home to our suitcase waiting for us on our doorstep! Disney had shipped it and it finally made it! 

What did I learn from this experience? As helpful as people are in places, I am too trusting to take them at their word. It does pay especially in these situations to watch your luggage closely and make sure it makes it. I was too busy talking to the shuttle driver and saying good-bye and Matt had had to run back to our room to get something, the second he got back we jumped on the shuttle, never to double check.

We should have double checked....

Next time we will double check! 

Life now will be a little easier with all of our stuff. That said, of course today Halifax weather turned to be cooler and we could have started wearing pants and slighter warmer, not Florida worthy clothes. Figures! 

I'm just happy it made it back! 

Father, Daughter and the potty

Hannah surprised us as early on getting an interest in the potty, loving sitting on the potty and then starting to actually go on the potty way before we thought she ever would. Totally initiated by her. 

She even went 5 days of always getting her poo in the toilet (not going to lie not having any poopy diapers to change was pretty glorious!)

Then it changed. 

The night before Matt left for BC for the week Hannah pooped on the toilet, now like usual, we celebrated together, but before getting the bare bottom up the stairs to her new diaper and pjs she had an accident. 

She peed for the first time ever like that. And boy did she feel bad. (So did I because she had said she still had to pee, but then said no so I never asked again..I should have). She cried and cried. We told her over and over it was okay, showed her how easy it was to clean up and went up to bed. 

No big deal right? 

Well since then her pooping in the toilet stopped. She started pooping always while in bed. Totally unusual. I was feeling bad because I don't always go to her at every noise, but I felt like the first few times I was missing her being able to go, especially since she had that same face and cry when I would get her and she had pooped in her diaper. Was I not listening enough to give her the chance to go when she had to?

Then she got this fascination with changing her babies and bears poops. It was so cute. I should post the video of it sometime! 

Then Matt came home, she still didn't want to go on the toilet at first. 

But today she got a new love for the toilet again. Dinner ended quickly without time for clean up when she said she had to poo and wanted to go on the toilet. I rushed her up, Matt started to clean up. Once on the toilet she started to panic and call for Daddy. 

As soon as he came she was happy again. But she didn't poo and wanted off. 

Straight into the bath she went and Matt attempted to go clean again, but then she said she had to poo, I asked her if she had to on the toilet she said no, got a panicked look again and...

oops she actually pooped a little in the bath, because we didn't get her onto the toilet in time (never ever happened before). 

But she said she still had to go, and was okay...for a minute. 

Then she panicked again! And cried and cried for "Dadda!" 

Up he came running again and then she finished pooping happy as can be. 

Then she celebrated just like Daddy did with with her the first time he was there that she pooped in Orlando! 

This situation is really making me think that even at a young age Hannah cares deeply about her Father. She cares about him being proud of her and getting to celebrate with her. She wants him there. 

Yes this story may be over poop, but I am proud to say that Hannah and her Daddy have a very special relationship that is only blooming more! 

(But I do hope she goes back to pooping just with me around too because Matt is not always around, especially in the days.)